Summer has finally arrived! It's been a long, difficult year and I'm so very grateful for this season of rest.  I began enjoying vacation this morning by picking up a new novel - Jayber Crow by Wendall Berry.  It has that lovely slow pace of Southern storytelling with lingering passages detailing nature and human nature.  This one will be in my mind all day, I can tell.

    The surface of the quieted river, as I thought in those old days at Squires Landing, as I think now, is like a window looking into another world that is like this one except that it is quiet.  Its quietness makes it seem perfect. The ripples are like the slats of a blind or a shutter through which we see imperfectly what is perfect.  Though that other world can be seen only momentarily, it looks everlasting.  As the ripples become more agitated, the window darkens and the other world is hidden.  As I did not know then but know now, the surface of the river is like a living soul, which is easy to disturb, is often disturbed, but, growing calm, shows what it was, is, and will be.

I'll be paying more attention to the beauty around me.

Getting Sober

Last night we were studying Romans 12, a very familiar chapter to me. Paul admonishes the Christians to have a "sober" view of themselves; to not think more highly of themselves than they should, but to recognize and energetically use the gifts they have been given. My thoughts at the time focused on the gifts, but the early morning hours brought a new direction to my thinking.

When Paul is listing the gifts and encouraging the people to be diligent in using them for mutual benefit, he never mentions that they should evaluate the success of their gifts. Instead, he follows the list with this statement - "Let love be without hypocrisy."

I'm afraid I do not have a "sober" view of myself. You see, when I speak, whether teaching or exhorting, or when I give, I expect to see change right away. I expect my words to open the doors of understanding and obedience, my gifts to build up and improve situations. I expect to be as God, who spoke and things came into existence. What arrogance! What a deluded view of myself!

God is a good, and He is patient. While He can (and did) speak things into existence right away, He also sovereignly presides over long stretches of time where the work is done quietly and behind the scenes. Like nine months of developing humans. Like years growing a redwood. Like hundreds of years for the fullness of time for Christ to come in His incarnation.

So while I am called to use the gifts He's given, I am also called to love the people He's placed in my life. I'm not to worry over whether or not they are responding appropriately to me and my gifts. I am called to let the results rest with the One who gives growth, who effects change, who brings life from death.

I'm praying for a more sober year this year.

It's a Celebration!

Today I finished baking my favorite Christmas treat - pecan mini-tarts! With so many treats surrounding us this time of year, why in the world do I keep baking? (Especially when I'm fighting a losing battle with my waistline!) Well, here's the long and short of it.

When Rick and I were first married, we decided that we wanted to be intentional about family traditions. We didn't want to accumulate baggage or obligations - we wanted to choose things which were meaningful and would provide teaching and nurturing for our future children. Over the years, we've settled into those traditions which mark us as a family. Not too surprisingly, our Christmas traditions especially seem to highlight food. But this isn't just because we like to eat!


When Christ was speaking to the people, He said, "I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." (John 10:10) Life, joy, abundance, gifts, overflow, beauty, and music are purposely highlighted during this season in order to remind ourselves and our family that Christ's incarnation [leading to his perfect life and sacrifice ]brought us into God's abundant grace and salvation.

One of my gifts to my family each season is an abundance of favorite foods. (Did you realize how central food and meals are to God's family? That's a topic for another blog!) Each year I have to take the time to shop, schedule, and make items that require more effort than I normally put into cooking. It's a gift of love; each personal favorite is included on the dessert table. And, when the children were young, they were part of the preparation process as they planned and packaged gifts for others.

As you move into these final days before Christmas, my prayer is that you and your family will experience the abundant love and goodness of God revealed in Christ. Gloria in excelsis Deo!

Renewal

I've always wanted to be one of those women who aged gracefully, who stayed mentally sharp and energetic in her autumn years. I don't want to chant a daily litany of aches and pains. To that end, I've tried to make choices along the way that would foster that kind of lifestyle. Curve balls do come our way sometimes, though. These are reminders that I am not ultimately in control of life.

As always, God's Word pushes me to reconsider my perspective on things. In 2 Corinthians 4:16 I read, "Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day."

This year I've been introduced to my thyroid and four little glands around the thyroid. Mine aren't working as they should, resulting in a severe Vitamin D deficiency, energy depletion, insomnia, joint aches, and early hints of osteoporosis. My capabilities seem to be diminishing as the demands in life are increasing! As my bones and joints begin to weaken and I'm not able to pursue the physical activity at the level I'd like, I need to redirect my attentions to the strengthening that comes through these things that stretch my faith. I'm in far more need of "weight bearing" exercises to strengthen my soul which is eternal! And God, in His mercy, continues to give me opportunities in the lab of faith.

So, thyroid issues and threats of osteoporosis may slow down the "outward man", but my prayer is that the loveliness of the Spirit may become more a part of my day-to-day life.

Not what you might expect

I can only add my heartfelt "Amen" to this post over at John Piper's blog.

Only Human

"I'm only human" we'll say when we want to explain why we can't do something. And it's not a lame excuse - it's true! Oddly enough, though, most women I know may say this but not really accept it. We often carry a lot of guilty feelings about the things we can't do, like make everyone happy, stop our children from suffering disease and hurt, pray for all the needs we know about on a consistent basis, and so many other things. We even kick against our finitude when we are physically incapable of doing the ordinary tasks of life. How can we know contentment and glorify God in our "not doing"?

One of my favorite sonnets is by John Milton, the author of the incredible Paradise Lost. When he discovered that he was going blind, he was heartsick. He had a profound faith and had been sure that God had given him his talent for writing so that he could serve God with it. How could he do anything significant if he was blind? How could that gift be of any use at all if he couldn't see what his hand tried to produce? Before he was completely blind, he penned this great sonnet.

When I consider how my light is spent,
Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my maker, and present
My true account, lest he, returning, chide.
'Doth God exact day-labor, light denied?'
I fondly ask; but Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies: 'God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts; who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best; his state
Is kingly - thousands at his bidding speed
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.

That last line always stops me in my tracks. While being busy may feel more productive to me, it isn't always my calling. There are seasons where I "stand and wait". This, too, is good.

For moms with so many responsibilities, learning to "wait" and "rest" is an extremely hard assignment. You can read an excellent meditation on that here.

Refreshment - Elizabethan style

Rick and I are actually on vacation! What a sweet time of renewal for both of us. He found a wonderful B&B - Anne Hatheway's Cottage - in Staunton. We enjoyed a lively and intense performance of Hamlet last night at Blackfriar's Theatre (constructed inside like the Globe). The crowd was boisterous and the players were beyond energetic, performing songs before and during the interval as well as putting on a fast-paced performance of the play. I was intrigued by their choice of lighting - they keep the lights up during the whole play so it's like daylight. The dynamic this created between the audience and the players was fascinating. I was expecting to be distracted by the fact that I could see both the actors and the audience, but the experience was much the opposite. I loved having the panorama of characters in my field of vision (unlike the movie editions) and the audience involvement was high. Maybe this accounted for some of the actor's energy!
This morning we enjoyed cool mountain breezes in the breakfast/great room. Now we're taking the time for some quiet reading/writing after our morning walk through the cemetery. ☺ I'm in the rocker by one of the windows under the eaves with a cup of green tea. Quiet - how refreshing!